


this pain won’t be for evermore

by JasmineTeaLatte



Series: Where the Spirit Meets the Bones [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Drabble, Episode: s03e16 The Southern Raiders, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by Music, Pining, Protective Zuko (Avatar), ZK Drabble December 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasmineTeaLatte/pseuds/JasmineTeaLatte
Summary: After confronting Yon Rha, Zuko and Katara share quiet moments together decompressing, hidden away in a cave to escape the freezing rain. While they wait out the storm, the prince comes to a realization that shakes him to his very core.~*~*~Written for ZK Drabble December 2020, Day 15: Breathless and Day 17: Feelin’ Sentimental
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Where the Spirit Meets the Bones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071038
Comments: 21
Kudos: 162
Collections: ZK Drabble December 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing like TS dropping ANOTHER album out of nowhere to inspire you, right? 
> 
> Also, I'm bringing back the sun shower symbolism, a perfect blend of rain and sunlight, water and fire, because it's just 👏 so 👏 fitting 👏 for them.

_I'm on waves, out being tossed_  
_Is there a line that I could just go cross?_

_I had a feeling so peculiar_  
_This pain wouldn’t be for evermore..._

evermore - Taylor Swift ft. Bon Iver

* * *

The rain turned freezing soon after they left, once Yon Rha’s village was nothing more than a small blur fading into the horizon behind the sheets of water falling from the sky.

Appa let out a groan, and the prince was tempted to echo it – he had endured far worse at the North Pole, but this chill seemed different somehow. Perhaps because it felt so out of place given the Fire Nation’s normally humid summers.

Zuko glanced back at the saddle and observed silently for several moments as his companion gazed unseeing off in the distance, shivering involuntarily.

Watching Katara’s earlier ferocity degrade into her current melancholic state awoke something protective in him, and that was a slippery slope he knew better than to approach...

Still, he was tempted to wrap her up in a warm embrace and comfort her, even though she’d surely kill him for doing so.

Instead, he gritted his teeth with resolve as she started to shake - from the cold or tears, he couldn’t tell from this distance.

“That does it,” he muttered, tugging at the reins and guiding the bison towards a forest below.

Just as he expected, Katara was jolted from her thoughts at this sudden change and whipped her head around to face him. 

“Why are we landing?”

“Because you’re exhausted and so is Appa, and unless you plan on bending all of the rain away from us the entire flight back, there’s no sense flying in the cold.”

She seemed like she was about to protest but let out a long sigh instead, ducking her head in defeat.

~*~*~

As luck would have it, they found a small cave under the canopy of the trees, just large enough to house the three of them comfortably.

She started to set up camp, going through the motions automatically but he stopped her, resting his fingertips on her shoulder.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to relax,” he said softly. “I’ll handle it.”

Thankfully, she didn’t even attempt to argue. Instead, she slid down against the cave wall and hugged her knees, staring at the ground in front of her.

She didn’t move a muscle as he unpacked their supplies and fed Appa, save for when he attempted to make a campfire. Everything was saturated, and he bit back a sigh as he mentally prepared himself to heat the kindling until all of the liquid soaking it evaporated.

Then the water seemingly lifted on its own and floated out through the mouth of the cave with a twitch of her fingers.

“Oh… uh, thanks,” he stammered uncertainly, igniting the spark and coaxing the fire as it roared to life.

“Waterbender, remember?” she mumbled in response.

She groggily waved her hand over herself too, pulling all of the rainwater out of her own clothing until she was completely dry.

Her eyes flickered over him through the growing flames, focusing on his hair slicked back around the edges of his face and his drenched clothes clinging to his body.

“Here, let me…”

He watched in amusement as he too was immediately dried off, although for some reason she smiled tiredly once she had finished and discarded the water outside.

“What?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“It’s... your hair’s all fluffed up now…” she said, gesturing to her own head.

He reached up and smoothed it back down, allowing himself a grin that matched hers.

~*~*~

Once she dried Appa and they ate a silent dinner, he all but ordered her to go to bed.

“I’m fine,” she tried to protest even as he draped a warm blanket around her shoulders.

He shook his head as he heated his own blanket by bundling it up against his chest before wrapping it around her as well.

“No, you’re not,” he countered gently. “You’ve had a rough couple of days and you’ve barely rested. We can’t fly in this rain, so you should at least catch up on some sleep.”

“But I…”

He shook his head again.

“Seriously, you’re past the point of exhaustion. Just relax and let someone look after you for once.”

Katara eyed him warily.

“You know I’m right,” he said in response to her silent accusation. “You’re always looking out for everyone else, and you deserve to be taken care of, too.”

She contemplated this for a moment before she nodded, curling up on her side on one of Appa’s legs near the campfire, tugging both blankets up to her chin.

Relieved, he settled down near the mouth of the cave to keep watch, not that he expected them to have any company with the freezing monsoon outside.

“Thank you,” she murmured sleepily after a comfortable silence.

He glanced back at her, raising his good eyebrow in surprise.

“For what?” he asked softly.

Her eyes were heavy as they peered up at him from underneath the slightly frayed edges of her covers.

“For not being as much of a jerk as you could have been. I should give you a medal.”

The corners of his mouth turned upwards.

“As long as your brother’s not the one making it.”

She giggled softly, and something like an ache tugged at his heart.

 _Stop that_ , he mentally chastised himself. _You know better than to tread down that road_.

He watched from the peripheral of his scarred eye as her lashes fluttered before finally closing, and minutes later he heard her breathing slow down.

~*~*~

Zuko woke sometime later, lifting his chin off of his chest with a start. He hadn’t meant to doze, but he followed shortly after Katara drifted off.

She was still sound asleep, for which he was thankful - at least she was finally getting some much-needed rest. He stretched and yawned, letting out a light groan at the stiffness in his neck.

Nearby the bison slumbered as well, leaving Zuko alone with his thoughts as rain continued to pour from the heavens.

Katara no longer seemed to outright despise him, at least, even though he knew she probably didn’t entirely trust him.

It was only fair, though. He still had far too many sins to atone for, but after everything he’d done, he hoped he could one day earn her forgiveness.

~*~*~

He was the only one awake a short time later when the sun finally broke through the clouds, illuminating the raindrops with a golden sparkle.

Secretly, he’d always loved sun showers since he’d been a child, and they still left him just a bit breathless even now.

Funny how rain and sunlight, two things that shouldn’t combine, could create something so beautiful together… not unlike him and Katara whenever they’d teamed up earlier, he thought.

Something in his chest tightened again when he glanced back at her, watching with veiled interest as her eyes crinkled slightly in her sleep, and she let out soft breaths every now and then.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to her on some level, that her kindness and strength and beauty didn’t utterly captivate him and haunt his dreams of late, but he knew it was foolish to even imagine anything would happen.

So he buried that wish deep underground where it belonged, content for now that she at least didn’t completely hate him anymore.

The best he could hope for was begrudging acceptance, and that was already more than he deserved from anyone, least of all her.

Because no matter how hard he tried to bring her some level of solace, it would never be enough - he could never give her peace.

~*~*~

He continued watching the sun shower in silence, completely mesmerized, until a drowsy voice shook him from his musings.

“Zuko?” she called out sleepily, squinting in his direction.

That damned ache squeezed his heart again at the sight of her with messy waves in her hair, clutching at the covers to shield herself from the damp chill. 

_Don’t do it, don’t do it_...

He ignored his better judgement and smiled, beckoning her over.

“Come here,” he said tenderly. “I want to show you something.”

With both blankets still wrapped around her shoulders, she trotted over and settled down across from him in the mouth of the cave.

Although they sat a few feet apart, there was something intimate about being close to her like this, both cross-legged and facing each other like a pair of conspirators. 

Her mouth opened in amazement and her bleary eyes widened as she watched the rain glitter like gemstones in the light.

“Have you ever seen a sun shower before?” he asked, unsurprised when she shook her head.

She listened, captivated, while he quietly explained how they came to be when water and fire met and created something beautiful in the process.

As he talked in hushed tones, her ocean blue eyes sparkled in the faint glow of the sunlight through the rain.

 _Maybe there was still hope_ , he thought futilely. He was teetering on the precipice, but he was still safe as long as...

Suddenly his heart leapt into his throat.

 _Too late_.

He had seen Katara smile countless times before, but until now she had never smiled at _him_... and meeting her gaze was like staring down a massive tidal wave that was moments away from dragging him under.

When he finished speaking he swallowed audibly and wiped his hand down his face, hoping he could play his epiphany off as something else. 

“You tired?” 

“Yeah.”

 _No_.

He’d fallen hard, despite his best efforts, and it was too late to turn back now. The only way out was inevitable heartbreak and unrequited dreams on his end.

She gave him another warm smile that filled him with hope for some reason, and he allowed himself to feel its warmth, although he ultimately knew better.

“It’s breathtaking,” she whispered, turning her gaze back outside to watch the rain fall once more.

He nodded and promptly forgot how to breathe, much less speak, so he also focused his attention on the sun shower outside. 

Anything to quell his heart hammering traitorously inside his ribs, while his lungs threatened to collapse in on themselves.

“Yeah,” he finally agreed hoarsely. “It really leaves you breathless.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written (super late) for ZK Drabble December 2020, Day 17: Feelin’ Sentimental

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Initially this was just going to be a oneshot drabble, but then I decided to explore Katara’s POV during this scene. 
> 
> T. Swift inspired me, what can I say?

_All you want from me now_  
_Is the green light of forgiveness_  
_You haven't met the new me yet_  
_And I think she'll give you that..._

happiness - Taylor Swift

* * *

Katara snuck a glance at her companion from beneath the edges of the blankets, keeping her eyes squinted so she could quickly feign sleep if he happened to look back at her.

But he kept his gaze focused outside of their cave as he sat inside the mouth, leaning his back against the wall and watching out for any sign of trouble, his broadswords within easy reach.

Neither of them were actually expecting unwanted guests, what with the freezing rain beating down steadily outside and all. Still, it didn’t hurt to be too careful, she supposed, and she was grateful for the chance to rest.

It was odd, she mused, pulling the blankets up to cover her chin. If you had told her a few months ago that she would willingly trust the Fire Prince, especially after what happened in Ba Sing Se, she would have thought you were high on cactus juice.

Yet here they were, waiting out a rainstorm together in an improvised shelter, and she not only lowered her defenses in his presence, she actually _trusted_ him enough to fall asleep while he guarded over them.

She let out a sigh, and immediately his head swiveled around to look in her direction. Her eyes closed just in time, though if he suspected she was still awake, he didn’t say anything.

Instead, she heard him crack his neck, groaning softly so he wouldn’t disturb her. When she dared to peek through her lashes again he was staring outside once more, arms folded across his chest.

A part of her felt bad for being greedy and accepting both blankets, even though he had willingly offered his. Earlier she’d been too tired to argue, although now she wondered if she should be polite and return his blanket.

Then again he _was_ a firebender, so she supposed it would take worse than a chilly rain to do him in. Something told her he might insist she keep them both for now and that he’d be fine, no matter how hard she protested.

She had to admit, he had been attentive towards her needs (far more than the others had actually), and she rather liked this new side to the prince if she was being completely honest... even as her gut instinct hissed that she should still hate him.

He’d even been generous enough to warm both blankets before he draped them around her shoulders, and the heat _was_ soothing.

She pulled the covers up over her nose and inhaled quietly. They smelled like warmth itself, a hint of musk blended with the smoke from campfire that blazed nearby.

Is that what he smelled like up close?

It wasn’t the worst scent in the world, she decided. If anything, it comforted her like an embrace and made her feel utterly safe and sound…

Her eyes fluttered open at the thought and she nearly scoffed out loud at herself.

Here she was feeling _sentimental_ about her former longtime enemy, all because he wasn’t as much of a jerk as he could have been.

Get a grip, Katara.

Despite all they had been through in the last few days, she still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her companion.

Part of her still distrusted him, although another part whispered to give him a chance...

~*~*~

_ He used your dead mother's necklace to try to bribe you into betraying your friends. _

_ He saved you from falling rocks at the Western Air Temple. _

_ He sided with his evil sister in Ba Sing Se and practically spat in your face after you selflessly offered to heal him. _

_ He helped save your father from imprisonment even though he’s one of the Fire Nation’s top two fugitives, second only to the Avatar himself. _

_ He probably still thinks of you as nothing more than a savage. _

_ He understands your anger and followed you without questioning your judgement. _

_ He’ll betray you in the end. _

_ He’s the only one who’s looked directly into your heart of darkness and didn’t recoil in disgust._

_ You little **peasant**. _

_ Your mother was a **brave** woman. _

_ I **have** changed.  
_

_ What can I do to make it up to **you**? _

~*~*~

At first she thought there was little more to him than an angry, entitled prince who followed them to the ends of the earth, always trying to capture the world’s last hope for peace.

Then she found herself imprisoned amidst glowing green crystals, glaring down at her fellow inmate as his golden eyes narrowed up at her in disdain. She had been entirely certain of his character back then, until he said the words that made her rethink everything she knew about the face of her enemy.

 _I’m sorry_ , he had said sincerely, almost as a whisper. _That’s something we have in common_.

His surprise admission had turned her world and all of her understanding completely upside down.

Who was this petulant boy, who scowled so fiercely and rejected her attempts to heal his uncle, yet softly apologized upon learning that she too had lost her mother?

She hadn’t had much time to dwell on that contrast, even as she timidly reached out to touch his scar not long afterwards, her soft fingertips resting against the hardened ridges of skin.

And how had he repaid that offer of kindness? By siding with his cruel sister and indirectly leading to Aang’s death, which she was only able to reverse because she thankfully hadn’t wasted the Spirit Water on him.

Then once he joined their team, she found the prince to be even more confusing than she previously thought.

Who was this repentant boy who eagerly sought to make amends for all his past transgressions even as he carried himself with a sense of pride amongst the others?

Even on this trip, his behavior struck her as peculiar. He had been so adamant about looking after her following their encounter with Yon Rha, almost as if he genuinely cared about her well-being.

Surely though, that was just another part of his act, a ploy to make her less angry at him? Surely he didn’t actually care about her feelings, not after the way he had practically thrown her previous act of goodwill back in her face.

This had to be nothing more than some form of penance for him, a means to an end to get on her good side, he was merely sucking up.

... wasn't he?

Something inside cautioned her to still be on her guard... but then there was another voice assuring her that his actions were sincere.

That same voice whispered that he genuinely wanted to become a better person and sought her friendship not because it was advantageous, but because he actually cared what she thought of him.

However, she wasn’t entirely sure _what_ to think of him, this boy who seemed so fragile at times yet dangerous at others, who told terrible jokes to endear himself to them but snapped whenever he was teased.

His duality almost reminded her of a campfire, she decided as her eyes closed once more before she drifted off to sleep again. The flames would keep you warm and invigorate you, so long as you didn’t get too close, lest you burn yourself.

Perhaps that was how she should treat him, then.

She would absorb his warmth but keep her distance so he couldn’t burn her ever again.

~*~*~

The rain seemed to have lightened somewhat when she awoke sometime later, blinking and disoriented by her surroundings.

Her dreams had been turbulent, and she had floated lost amidst a stormy sea, unable to bend and desperately trying to keep her head above the water as her friends looked on in concern. 

Whenever she tried to reach out to the others, however, they withdrew their hands.

In her dreams, Aang crossed his arms and frowned down at her even as she begged for help. 

“What exactly did you think this was going to accomplish?” he asked sternly. “I warned you against seeking revenge, Katara, and look what happened. You’re drowning.”

She tried to cry out, but she sank beneath the waves first, choking on a lungful of seawater.

Then she heard a splash nearby, and a dark figure swam through the shadows towards her. A warm, rough hand grasped hers tightly and pulled her down towards the ocean floor, and for some reason she allowed it to lead her away from safety.  


Instead of darkness, though, it gradually grew brighter, and another surface seemed to rush up to meet her. 

Maybe she had gotten turned around somehow? Yet when she looked back, she saw the surface behind her, the same one she sunk under just moments ago.

A familiar voice called out, distorted through the water.

“She needs this, Aang,” the voice echoed through the depths. “Sometimes the only way _out_ is to go _through_.”

Then the voice spoke again, clearer this time as if it came from right beside her.

“It’s going to be okay, Katara. I won’t let you drown. Hold my hand and don’t let go.”

... and her eyes fluttered open as she broke through the waves on the other side, gasping for air.  


Yet right before she woke, she could have sworn her unlikely savior had been...

~*~*~

“Zuko?” she called out sleepily, squinting in his direction.

He was watching the storm outside, captivated, as the rain fell illuminated by sunlight.

The prince was startled out of his thoughts and turned his head at the sound of her voice. His golden eyes seemed even brighter than ever as he smiled, beckoning her over.

“Come here,” he said gently. “I want to show you something.”

Who was this boy who attacked his enemies with such ferocity yet spoke to her so tenderly?

Intrigued, she tiptoed over and sat down across from him, still wrapped up in her blankets, and her mouth fell open as she watched the rain droplets glitter like gemstones.

It was _beautiful_.

“Have you ever seen a sun shower before?” he asked, his warm smile melting something harsh and frozen inside of her.

She shook her head and listened in fascination as he explained how the phenomena came to be.  


Wonders never ceased... just when she thought she'd figured out the answers and knew everything she needed to about the Fire Nation, it found new ways to surprise her.  


Much like its self-exiled prince sitting before her, she supposed, who talked in hushed tones as if in reverence... of the sun shower or maybe even _her_ , she wasn’t entirely certain.

After he finished speaking, there was a silence that only comes when two people understand each other and no additional words are needed. 

Katara glanced back at her companion, noting that he had been quietly observing her reaction, as if he was hoping for her approval. 

Who was this boy who once threatened to burn down her village but nervously tried to show her beautiful things to make her smile?

Maybe he was someone she could forgive, after all...

So she smiled warmly at him, and something strange happened. 

His eyes widened and he gulped, whether he realized it or not, and he stared at her in astonishment before wiping his hand down his face.

For a moment she wondered what his problem was, but then she realized - this _was_ the first time she’d ever smiled at him or actually treated him like a friend since he joined their group.

He was just surprised, that was all it was, and he _did_ seem tired, which he confirmed moments later... he hadn’t had a chance to rest yet, after all.

~*~*~

“It’s breathtaking,” she said following another brief silence of staring out at the rain.

He seemed almost shy and even scared for some reason when he replied several long moments later.

“Yeah... It really leaves you breathless,” he agreed, his voice hoarser than usual from exhaustion or perhaps something else entirely.  


They continued to sit in a comfortable tranquility for a while longer, and she allowed a delicate smile to wash over her features as she watched the sun shower. 

From nearby, Zuko leaned back against the wall of the cave once more. She noticed in her peripheral vision that his eyes seemed to flit towards her, no doubt caught off-guard by this new sense of camaraderie. 

Who was this boy whose fires raged like an inferno yet gazed at her with such awe and admiration?

An acquaintance? A teammate? Maybe even a companion...

Yes, Katara thought to herself, she _would_ forgive him when all was said and done. 

It was a new day, and she felt a sense of peace and lightness that she hadn't felt in years. She almost felt like a new person, as if she’d been given a fresh start... and it was all thanks to the one person she swore she would never believe in again.

At that moment, she finally let go of all of her bitterness towards him, and the next time she looked at Zuko it was as someone she trusted absolutely.

"You should get some rest," she said kindly. "I can keep watch."

Yet he smiled ruefully at her and shook his head, absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm okay," he said quietly. "Better than I've been in a long time, actually..."

She knew that feeling all too well, so she nodded and turned her gaze outwards once more.

Now that she had left behind all of her anger and hurt, she discovered something else had crept in to take their place... 

... it was _happiness_.

And while she couldn't offer Zuko much in return to show her appreciation for all he'd done for her...

... perhaps one day she could find some way to give him that, too.


End file.
